Top 10 Hollywood Misconceptions
7th November 2007
Hollywood budgets may stretch to hundreds of millions of dollars but with actors’ wages getting ridiculously high they obviously don’t have too much cash to splash on new computers.
Read on as we expose to you Hollywood’s top mistakes surrounding computers and computer science!
10. All criminal computers with sensitive, incriminating data erase themselves instantaneously.
When the professional forensic analysts turn up, any computer with incriminating data instantaneously erases all data on the hard drive. However, if a character needs to erase a single file at a critical moment in the film, you can guarantee that this will take five minutes or at least until the ‘bad guys’ turn up.
9. All computers blow up when coming into contact with coffee, water or any fruit based beverage.
Just look at any James Bond film, in particular the ones where the villain has an underground lair and many many henchmen. Isn’t it remarkable that when Bond has escaped yet another easily escapable situation involving an overly elaborate and exotic death, all the computers in the local vicinity proceed to blow up! Do you know why this is? It’s because one of the henchmen spilled a cup of hot coffee on one of the monitors! Don’t believe me? Ok, take another film for example, ‘Memoirs of an invisible man’. This film stars Chevy Chase and Daryl Hannah where a man is made to disappear by way of an industrial accident. How did this accident come into being? Was it through poor management, faulty equipment, incompetent staff or lack of investment? No, it was due to a ‘scientist’ spilling a cup of coffee on the keyboard of a computer. It goes on fire, starts going totally nuts and then explodes. This makes the ‘magnetron’ render everything in the local vicinity invisible, including the character played by Chevy Chase. So next time somebody asks you not to drink near your computer, you will know why!
James Bond - Goldfinger © 1964 United Artists, © 1982 MGM
8. Any PERMISSION DENIED has an OVERRIDE function.
The film Demolition Man presents a dystopian image of the future. Everything from alcohol, caffeine, contact-sports, meat, table salt, non-educational toys and salt are all illegal. The main character John Spartan, played by Sylvester Stallone is unfrozen from cryogenic suspension to deal with the criminal Simon Phoenix, played by Wesley Snipes, because all the other cops have forgotten how to deal with violence. Anyway, suffice to say, there is a development in the plot where the good guy turned bad guy who then turns good guy (Sly Stallone) needs to hack into the central government’s criminal computer. Obviously, being set in the future, the government no longer requires 128-bit encrypted algorithms so it is quite likely the password is, believe it or not, ‘enter’. Upon trying this however, Sly finds that he does not have exactly the right access that he requires so what does he do? Yep, you guessed it, the tried, tested and unfailing; type in ‘override’ into any computer and you will immediately gain access. Suspension of disbelief if you please.
7. Whenever a character looks at a monitor, the image is so bright it projects onto their face.
Take films like 2001: A Space Odyssey and the classic Aliens movies. Whenever a character uses a computer, the image is so bright that it projects onto their faces. Again, a civilization having mastered interstellar space travel have yet to discover health and safety in the workplace! Are there no opticians? Imagine if you used a computer like that, the flashing cursor would be burned into your brain.
Hal – 2001: A Space Odyssey © 1968 Warner Bros
6. Every keystroke on a computer creates a ‘beep ‘beep’ noise.
This is one that really gets on my nerves. I would like anyone to show me a film where a computer plays a significant part that doesn’t have every keystroke played back to the audience as a ‘beep’ ‘beep’ noise. Either that or the character has searched for something and the cursor flashes and beeps to indicate that whatever they were looking for is just simply not there. Of course it’s not there, the computer is beeping to let us know that. So if you are not already blinded by the image projected onto your face, you will most definitely have some form of audio shock, beep beep beep beep…
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