Top 10 Hollywood Misconceptions
7th November 2007
5. Searches on the internet always return what you are looking for no matter how vague the keywords are.
Take Mission Impossible as an example. Tom Cruise plays the character Ethan Hunt, who then - at a critical point in the plot – uses a computer to search for the information that he requires. Being Hollywood, they don’t need to go through the necessary and sometimes fruitless rigmarole of choosing pertinent keywords. Instead, Tom decides to use incredibly vague keywords such as file and computer and unbelievably only 3 results are returned. To add insult to injury, Tom is suspended from the ceiling on a trapeze-like rigging.
Mission Impossible, © 1996 Paramount Pictures
Now I know this was filmed in 1996 but even then I am quite sure there were likely to be more results than 3. Try it yourself, I got somewhere in the region of half a billion!
4. Any computer anywhere can talk to any other computer anywhere else.
Computers can interface with any other computer regardless of the manufacturer or galaxy where it originated. The film ‘Independence Day’ shows the two main characters upload a virus into the alien mothership which simultaneously projects a sinister jolly roger on the main computer screen. Sure, aliens have mastered intergalactic space travel, and the mind numbingly complex ideas of artificial gravity, radiation prevention and weapons systems that wipe out whole cities. However, a computer virus protection system or even a rudimentary privilege system to prevent malware, seemingly not!
™ & © 1996 Twentieth Century Fox Film Corporation. All Rights Reserved
3. Computers designed for Intercontinental Ballistic Missiles Defence systems also play games like Global Thermonuclear War and Chess.
Matthew Broderick stars in the film from 1983 called ‘Wargames’. In it he plays a character called David – a ‘hacker’ in high school who discovers a ‘backdoor’ to the US defence system called WOPR. He is presented with a list of options – which he misinterprets as an index of games such as chess, bridge, checkers, theatre-wide toxic and chemical warfare and of course our old favourite, Global Thermonuclear War - he inadvertently sets off World War 3.
Options from WOPR featured in the 1983 film ‘Wargames’© 1983 MGM/UA Entertainment
What’s the moral of this story? That any kid with a rudimentary knowledge of computer systems can and will hack into top level security systems and cause wanton destruction on a scale not yet imagined and we should all be running for the nearest air raid shelter!
2. Anybody can use imaging software to ‘zoom’ in on any feature they want regardless of scale.
The most classic example of this is the use of it the NBC programme ‘Las Vegas’. The show is a dramatic comedy television series about a team of people working in the fictional Montecito Resort and Casino in Las Vegas — dealing with issues that arise within the working environment, ranging from valet parking and restaurant management to casino security. The episode in question deals with a character who has been accused of running through a red light. And what is their solution to this problem? An alibi, a reasonable excuse, pleading not guilty? No, instead they obtain footage from a local convenience store; in the upper corner of the footage was a rounded angle mirror, they zoomed into that and saw the characters car stopped at a red light. Now, the genius part is in the horizon of the reflection, you could make out the Las Vegas skyline; they zoomed even further into that and focused on the hotel with the rollercoaster on it. Seeing this, they were able to calculate the time and day based on the rollercoaster’s relative position and thus prove that the car did not run a red light. Genius! Although, it does make me wonder whether I should close my curtains in my flat, my convenience store is only a mile down the road and round the corner – goodness knows what footage they have of me!
1. Hollywood always portrays artificial intelligence as incompetent.
If Hollywood were to be believed, the future is grim for all things computing and for all humanity. Thanks to artificial intelligence, computers at some point will take over the world and destroy mankind in their wake. After this they (or Skynet) will send a cyborg terminator back in time to destroy the rebel leader, albeit not too successfully. You would think a man killing super robot, designed to be incredibly intelligent and good at its purpose would be able to take out Sarah Connor. True, he does manage to take out most of the Los Angeles Police Department and Sarah’s partner Kyle Reese who just also happens to be Sarah’s unborn child’s father and best friend from the future. Err, time paradox anyone? Suffice to say the Terminator is squashed under a steel press. Now, stop me if I’m wrong but surely these things would be around in the future and surely it would be pretty obvious what they were! Still, old Arnie crawls underneath it and splat! Enough said.
© 1984 Cinema ‘84. A Greenberg Brothers Partnership. All Rights Reserved.
Now, Terminator 2 is a good film as it stands but Hollywood does exactly the same thing in this movie albeit with different characters. This time, the T1000 is sent back to take out John Connor, (Sarah’s unborn child from Terminator) who in turn sends back Arnie from the first movie. Another time paradox – my head hurts! Anyway, the T1000 is by far the superior machine; he is able to morph into any shape that he wishes in order to take out John Connor. This time however, it is Arnie, the inferior cyborg who manages to stall and delay the new boy for long enough so that Sarah and John can hide in a steel works. Hmmm, a recurring pattern here! Unfortunately for them both however, there are no steel crushing machines. Although, lo and behold the truck that the T1000 was driving was full of liquid nitrogen and freezes the T1000 on contact. Now you can hardly blame him for this one but c’mon, a superior robot that is not able to read the hazardous chemical sign on the truck? Besides that, why would he stumble into a steel works when it is quite obvious to us mere humans that it may be a little bit of a problem for morphing boy? In the end, the humans prevail and the super cool über cyborg from the future is vanquished, possibly by tripping him into the vat of molten metal when he wasn’t looking. So what does this tell us about technology in the future? I’ll let you decide! This is the end of my rant about Hollywood and their portrayal of technology and computing. I’ll be keeping my eyes open for any fragrant abuse of what is real and just plain absurd and like Arnie says, Hasta la Vista baby!
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